You know how Shrek went on that crazy journey to find Fiona? And how the Jews walked across the desert for 40 years? This shirt story is kind of like that. (Kind of.)
In my gap year, I worked an office job. As beige as it was, I found most of my favorite music shuffling through Youtube, trying to find something that made me feel connected to the sound despite my updo and thrifted blouse. I remember very distinctly (it was a Tuesday) the first time I heard the stunningly haunted melodies of British indie band Nothing But Thieves. It was a song from their self titled album called "Honey Whiskey." I was immediately flung into full survival mode, digging and diving for every scrap of batter in their mixing bowl and clinging to my cavities as they came. Next, came "Itch." This song took me from flailing fangirl to certified junkie. Hook me up to an IV and shoot that shit straight into my veins. In essence, I fucking love this band.
It took me two and a half years to finally see them live. I'm going to save the show story for another piece of merch I got that night, but this story...this story begins the second the show ends. Anyone that knows me understands that the moment the last chord has rung out, I'm in line for merch. So, as "Amsterdam" faded to a close, I grabbed my best friend and made a break for it. And there it was. The most beautiful band shirt I had ever seen in my damn life. A long sleeve, white work of architectural mastery with black lettering and orange embellishments, lyrics "what did you think when you made me this way" scrawled on the shoulders, and a rising eclipse on the sleeve. I thought I had been in love, but oh, I was fortune's fool. This shirt...was a new love.
I was going to die if I didn't have this shirt. My priorities rearranged before my eyes. Food for the week? No, shirt. Gas? Shirt. I HAD TO HAVE THE SHIRT. As we stood in line for a solid 40 minutes, I saw more and more of the shirts leave in the hands of starry eyed fans. Numbers dwindled, in both merch and bodies. Fourth in line, another shirt leaves. Third in line, another. Second in line...and my worst nightmare became my waking reality. A small, black haired girl asked for the shirt, the red haired merch girl reached into an empty box marked 'tour exclusive.' The blood drained from my face and I heard my heartbeat in my ears, banging like the kick drum in "Forever And Ever More". She removed the sample shirt from the display and handed it to the young girl. And I left the venue holding a jacket and a tee, both the rotting citrus on the grass floor compared to the orange fountain of happiness sitting at the top of the tree...now gone.
(but not really, I love those pieces.)
(you know what I mean.)
New plan. Email everyone involved, DM the band, tweet the merch girl, call the management, get the shirt. Somehow, get the shirt. I spent the next day drowning in unanswered cries for deliverance. My final strand of hope weighed on a mule job.
*cue Mission Impossible music*
Okay. So, the morning after the show, I flew home to Texas to spend some time with my family. Nothing But Thieves' tour was headed to Texas that same week. My hometown of Denison is only about an hour from Dallas, and NBT were going to be in Dallas. Okay. Progress. I couldn't afford to go to the show, but what if I went to the venue and waited outside until someone helped me? No, too desperate. What if I snuck in? No, illegal. Okay. My next move was a bit of a low. I used Bandsintown to find someone who had RSVP'd to the show, tracked down their Twitter, and make my plea. I offered to pay for the shirt, shipping, and convenience. She said she'd have to ask her mom. I'm a horrible person. This plan fell through, and with it, my heart out my ass. It was over.
OR. WAS. IT??? I checked NBT's website every god damn day for a month looking for that shirt, until finally, on November 13th, there it was. In all its orange glory. I sent the link to my mother and told her it was the only thing I've ever wanted (a fat lie, I'd wanted a pony since the dawn of time.) 10 minutes later, she sent me a screenshot of her confirmed order. My birthday present was on its way. 40 years walking the desert and fighting a sexy dragon were finally over. I love this shirt.
♫
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